How I Became a Person Who Runs
Deciding is the first step in making a change
It took me 47 years and a medical degree to learn that regular exercise was an important step to a happy life.
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5 Breast Cancer Myths
The internet is a fantastic thing — Endless information at our disposal within seconds. While the internet has made it easy for women to find information on topics such as breast cancer, it also is ripe with bogus information. Myths about breast cancer are often circulated online and through social media. Here are five common breast cancer myths:
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Doctor Treats His Own Soccer Injury Using Google and Here’s What Happened
Recognizing My Own Limitations
There are certain situations in my life where I feel really stupid
One is when CNBC’s Squawk Box senior economics reporter Steve Liesman discusses the bond market. While I recognize the words he uses as English grammar, I find almost every word to be incomprehensible gibberish. Read more
Why You Should Manage Your Child’s Screen Time
Unplug and Create Quality Family Time
The temptation to just click play
As a parent, I understand the challenges of trying to keep a young child entertained. I always try to find ways to keep my daughter from becoming bored. We play games, do arts & crafts, and go to the park. While it is convenient to set up a screen and hit “play”, this approach can produce negative such as sleep difficulties and trouble with face-to-face interactions.
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Checking for Virginity is an Outdated and Unnecessary Practice
A prominent rapper came out earlier this month discussing how he takes his teenage daughter to the OBGYN office yearly to make sure her hymen is still intact to ensure her virginity. Read more
How To Talk To A Teenager
Use Opportunities in their Context.
Typical conversations with a teenager
“How was your day?”
“Fine”
“What did you do at school today?”
“Nothing”
Riveting conversation for sure. We all want our children to be successful. Things would be so much easier if during the teen years we just did not have to talk to them.
Effective Communication
Our goal is to raise children who are ready to leave our house and survive in the world on their own. How do we do this? One key aspect is effective communication.
Your teenager’s job is to prepare themself to leave — to pull away and to be able to survive in the world on their own. This creates tension between parent and child. It makes communication much more difficult. This tension is illustrated in the title of one of my favorite parenting books called Get Out of My Life but Could you First Drive Cheryl and I to the Mall.
Discussions about sex
Parent-Child discussions about sex often break down because adults fail to accept one key concept. When our kids are young we tell them what our family believes. We explain what is right and what is wrong. As children age, they incorporate everything they learned from us and develop their own belief system. Their belief system is what guides their decisions. OUR opinions matter but THEIR opinion matters more. Here is the key concept:
The thoughts in THEIR heads guide their decisions.
As a parent we should be more focused on what your teenager thinks about sex and less focused on what want to tell them. What was once a monologue of one directional communication must evolve into a dialogue. Communicate often but as a conversation. Don’t give a lecture.
Speak less, Listen More
Opportunities for meaningful Parent-Teen dialogue pop up every day. You want to be ready when one arises. Imagine you are listening to a song or watching a movie. Something you find inappropriate comes up. Don’t tell your teen how awful the lyrics are. Don’t judge. Engage instead. Ask you teen what the song means. Ask what they like about it. Ask them to tell you what the TV show is about. If they answer, ask another question.
Be genuinely interested. Keep asking and allow the conversation to develop. Resist the urge to give your opinion. Seek to understand theirs. Notice as soon as you make a statement of judgment the conversation will end. They teen will shut down. Your goal is to keep the conversation going. Speak less, listen more when you are talking to teenagers.
Use opportunities in their context
When my son’s friends are at my house I always ask them lots of questions. Your child may hold out, but the friends will spill the beans if you get a conversation going. One day the topic of birth control came up. I was fascinated how much they knew. Their information was terribly inaccurate, but I was impressed they actually knew what the methods were. When I asked how they knew this they informed me they learned it from Big Mouth. It’s the Beavis and Butt-Head of 2019. It’s a show with inappropriate humor extremely popular with junior school boys. Watching the show with them opened up endless potential conversations — opportunities in context. Hit the pause button and ask them lots of questions.
Another example for younger children is the TV show Fuller House. My 9 and 11 year old’s don’t get the thinly veiled sexual innuendo jokes, but I certainly do. In each episode there are opportunities to bring up various subjects and have a productive dialogue with your child.
Music is their language
Music is a child’s language. Music presents a great opportunity for meaningful conversation. Next time you are in the car playing UberParent let them choose the music. Turn the volume down and ask them a question about the song. What did you think about what she just sang?”
Resist the urge to tell them your opinion.
Let them talk it out. Ask probing questions to go deeper. For example, here is the chorus from Milley Cyrus Wrecking Ball
“I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was break me
Yeah, you wreck me”
Inevitable eye rolling
I know when you ask a teenager “What do you think she means by wrecking ball?” They will roll their eyes at you. That’s expected. Ask again. This time the answer is going to be, “I don’t know.” Don’t stop there. Ask a follow-up question… and another….and another…..be persistent. Be interested in the answer. Listen intently. You will learn more about your child. Overtime your relationship will grow. The lifelong conversation between a parent and child will ultimately create the thoughts in their heads that guide their decisions.
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Blog Author: Dr. Jeff Livingston
A Doctor’s Love Letter to Her Mirena IUD
Dr. T puts the “I” in IUD (and TMI)
I love my IUD. For all the skeptics, I thought I would share my personal experience with an intrauterine device and how it saved me from myself. Read more
C-Sections: Truths, Myths, Facts, and Fiction
The Cesarean section (C-section) originally started around the 1600s as an alternative delivery method to vaginal delivery during childbirth emergencies. Over the centuries, there have been many advances to the point that delivery via C-section is a safe, effective, and sometimes the only way for a baby to be delivered. Read more
8 Common Myths About IUDs, Debunked
IUDs (intrauterine devices) like the Mirena, Kyleena, Skyla, and Paragard are some of the most effective forms of birth control, preventing more than 99.5% of pregnancies. They last between 3-10 years and are fairly easy to insert. As discussed in a previous post, IUDs also put you in control of your fertility – helping you be pregnant when you want to be. Despite all of these great characteristics, there are several myths associated with them. Read more
When Should I Worry About Breast Pain?
Why do breasts hurt sometimes.
Breast pain is common
Up to 70% of women will experience breast pain (or mastalgia) during their lifetime. Patients may notice breast pain and become concerned. People worry it may be an early sign of breast cancer. Breast pain without any other symptoms, such as a breast mass or lump, is rarely a sign of breast cancer.
Breast cancer should be ruled out with a physical exam and possibly imaging for any breast complaint. Don’t ignore it. If you are concerned about a breast issue then we want to address it with you. For the sake of this article, however, we will be focusing on breast pain not associated with cancer.
What else is causing the pain?
We can break it down into two broad categories: cyclical and non-cyclical.
Cyclical breast pain
Cyclical breast pain is the most common. It usually affects both breasts. It typically begins in the days leading up to your period and improves after you start your period. Cyclical pain is associated with the normal hormonal fluctuations of the menstrual cycle.
Increased levels of estrogen and progesterone in the blood stimulate the proliferation of the normal glandular tissue in the breasts. The hormonal fluctuation results in pain. Because cyclical breast pain is caused by hormones in the blood, it can also be triggered if you are taking birth control pills or hormone replacement pills.
Non-cyclical breast pain
Non-cyclical breast pain does not follow the usual menstrual pattern. It is more variable, more likely to be in just one breast, and either be constant or intermittent in nature.
Causes of this type of pain vary. Causes include breast cysts, infection or abscess, and even your diet. Cutting back on caffeine has been shown to improve breast pain in some women. Large, pendulous breasts can cause pain due to stretching of the ligaments in the breast, known as Cooper’s ligaments.
If your pain is cyclical or non-cyclical, you should always discuss any concerns with your doctor. Your doctor is a good resource to address your concerns.
Thank you to BeingWell for publishing this article on Medium.
Main Blog Photo By: Unsplash
Blog Author: Dr. Richard Wagner
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