The CDC recommends that everyone, with very few exceptions, ages six months and older get vaccinated against the flu. Because the virus that causes the flu changes from year to year, it is necessary to get a new vaccination every year. Read more
Have you noticed that your Facebook feed is full of ads asking you if you are tired or feeling burned out? Have you noticed that each company asking these questions then promotes a solution? This constantly negativity can affect the way we feel about our jobs and our lives. I recently appeared on this podcast for Greenway Health discussing physician burnout. The ideas we discussed apply to everyone regardless of your job or life situation. Take a few minutes and enjoy this episode.
In my last post, The Birds and the Bees, Part 1, I covered the idea that Parents are the Model for their children. Parents are the number one influence on future decisions teenagers will make regarding their sexuality. As parents how do we guide them through this phase of their lives?
The message that most kids get from their parents about sex is simple:
Rule #1 Don’t do it!
Rule #2 Follow rule number one.
I can not tell you what that belief should be. That is up to you and your spouse but this step is crucial —-Tell your kids. Communicate your beliefs. Express your views, tell your kids what your family believes, whatever that is. If your family believes no sex until marriage— great. Communicate that. If your family believes no sex until you are in love —- fine. If your family believes something different—-no problem; they’re your kids, not mine. Discuss your family’s morals and values. I’m not going to tell you what to say, but you should tell them what your family believes. The morals and values of the family lays the foundation for your children. Once you have done that step now comes the harder question —- If I ask your kids, what does your family believe? Could your kids tell me? It’s a little harder. Many parents feel like they have communicated very clearly, but if I ask their kids “What does your family believe about sex?” The kids don’t know the answer. …… Something to think about…If you have communicated something to your children and they can not repeat it back then the message has not truly been received. It has not been internalized.
When your children are young they will accept the parental views and make them their own. As your child transitions to the teen years, things get more complicated…
While the family belief system will still serve as the foundation, your child will begin to develop their own beliefs about sexuality. Parental influence is still a factor but it is no longer the only factor in their decision making. The determining factor is actually what is in their own minds ——-Your child beliefs (not yours) will guide their decisions. This is hard to swallow but crucial for parents to understand.
The average age of the first sexual encounter is 16.5 years old. The average age for marriage is 29.5. That’s a long time to wait and if the only information a child has is “wait until marriage” then that answer may not be enough when they are 27 years old. I grew up in a Christian home. I remember being involved in Young Life and we were taught no sex until marriage. I remember many serious debates around the age of 15 on where exactly was the line? Where’s the loophole? How far can we go? I also remember a funny episode of Seinfeld where they debated what exactly defines when sex has occurred. We wondered about that too at that age.
Using data from the CDC YRBSS before age 13 only 3.5% of kids have had sex. But by ninth grade, it jumps to 20%. By twelfth grade, slightly over half of kids have been sexually active.
We must transition from a monologue — telling kids what to believe– to a dialogue. When they are young, you tell them very specifically what to do and your kids do what you say. As they get into junior high, this paradigm shifts. They are still very much influenced by what you say, but their actions are more determined by what they think—what they believe. Our children are growing up and they’re becoming independent. If I ask your children what do they believe about sex would their answer surprise you?
In the next post we discuss some specific communication techniques you can use to improve the dialogue with your child.
Learn more about Dr. Livingston here
Further Reading:
The link from this book cover is tied to Amazon. Proceeds generated are donated to the Irving ISD Teen Parenting program, a drop out prevention program for students who are pregnant or parenting.
Many people ask me how should they talk to their children about sex. My short answer is parents and their children must have an ongoing lifelong dialogue and not a one-time conversation. This next series of posts are designed to help you open your mind to new ideas and different ways of thinking about how to handle this challenging issue with your kids.
Think about this for a second —— “How did you learn about sex when you were a kid?” Reflect back to those awkward years between sixth, seventh and eighth grade—— kids were talking about sex. You had questions and maybe you asked a trusted friend or sibling. Maybe you saw things on TV, the JCPenney catalog, or if you were lucky you found a copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Some kids even performed the 1980’s version of Googling and found an encyclopedia to look things up. The key here is that you found ways to get the answers to the questions on your mind. You filled the void.
So what do our kids do in 2019 to find the answers they have about sex? Our multitasking, Facebooking, iPad playing, Tik Toking, Netflix watching, Intagram posting, Snapchatters have immediate access to information. Just like us they have questions about sex, but the difference is they live in a world of information overload. They are one click away from answers to any question. So specifically, how do kids learn about sex? They learn a little bit in school in health class. They learn from their friends. They learn from other media, TV shows, and music. Most importantly, kids learn a ton from the Internet
Despite all of this access to information what actually influences their decisions? The answer is YOU——The parents. Here is the good news. Parents still matter. Study after study shows this crosses socioeconomic, cultural and racial barriers. The number one influence on what a child believes, and ultimately is going to do about sexuality, actually comes from you. It’s good to know we parents still matter because sometimes it does not feel that way.
Parents are the model for their children. From the time they are born, your children watch everything you do. They are learning about sex from you all day every day, even when you think they’re not watching. They watch what happens when one parent comes home from work. How did you greet each other? They notice the intimacy, the engagement, the hugs. They see and feel the love a couple expresses for one another. They notice your reactions and emotions. What happened in a movie when there was a romantic moment? How did you react? When mom and dad are talking about other people’s relationships, they’re listening. When an inappropriate joke comes up in a movie or TV show they watch your response. You are their model.
I once heard a speaker described adolescent sexuality with this metaphor. Think of yourself walking down a long hallway with all of these curtains. As you take a step forward, you pull back the curtain and you answer certain questions. As your child gets older you walk further down the hallway and you pullback the next curtain and the next and the next. This is a great illustration of the ongoing dialogue we must have with our children. I believe children are prepared to understand any question they ask. If your child asks you a question then answer it on their level. Don’t be embarrassed or shameful. Since I’m an OB/GYN, you can imagine dinner conversation at my house is often very interesting. So my kids at a very young age asked me, how do you get the babies out? When they were young, the answer was simple. “When the baby is ready to be born, it sends a signal to come out between the mommy’s legs and sometimes I make a cut to help the baby come out through the mommy’s stomach.“ That was the answer when they were young. As they got older, I was able to explain in different language exactly what my job entails. Answer the question that they have.
In our next post, we will dive deeper into the subject of The Birds and The Bees and how to help parents navigate through this difficult subject.
Further Reading:
Dr. Suzanne Slonim is a friend of MacArthur OBGYN. She specializes in non-surgical fibroid treatment with Uterine Fibroid Embolization (UFE). Read more
The long answer:
There is growing data suggesting that cannabis compounds quickly cross the placenta and can be transferred via breast milk. There is also evidence that shows that marijuana use can affect obstetrical outcomes and embryonic development. There is a link between marijuana use and the following:
It’s use has also been linked to poor pediatric outcomes including the following:
Placing a picture in a frame changes the way we view the image.
The same is true for our thoughts and feelings. The way we frame a situation in our mind changes the way we interpret it.
Last night I worked all night and delivered six babies. I can choose to focus on my fatigue, or I can be proud of my accomplishments.
Today I did not follow my diet plan. I can choose to beat myself up over BOTH of my trips to McDonalds, or I can view today as an opportunity to start fresh tomorrow.
Today I drank an inordinate amount of coffee. I can choose to wallow in self pity about why I needed it, or I can be thankful that the amazing drink of the God’s was at my disposal.
Whenever I feel down or frustrated I try to pause and to think through how my mind is framing the situation.
If you don’t like what you see then change the frame.
Change the frame and change your feelings.
Nexplanon is simple and easy with 3 year protection.
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Often it is said, a mother bonds with her baby as soon as she finds out she is pregnant. For the rest of the family it generally happens later, sometimes after the baby is born. However, today we have the unique opportunity for the whole family, including fathers, siblings, and extended families to enjoy the immediate bonding and closeness a 4D session offers. It is virtually a realistic view of the child in the womb that allows us to see some amazing detail like the baby opening its eyes, swallowing, facial features and expressions including smiling and frowning, and the movement of arms and legs. Also, this is when the playful debate of whom the baby resembles, begins.
At MacArthur OB/GYN, we provide an affordable way to enjoy this experience. For $99 you will receive an approximate 15 minutes session that will include a CD with multiple pictures to take home and share with other family members and friends.
Since there are factors that depend on successful 4D, we provide our patients with a “second opportunity” if the first one fails. We recommend 4Ds to be scheduled between 26-32 weeks with the preferable time frame around 28 weeks. If for some reason the first two sessions are not successful we give the family an opportunity to schedule a third time, however, the standard fee will be charged no matter the outcome.
Here are some frequently asked questions.
It is best to schedule at least two weeks before your session. Remember, approximately 28 weeks is the best time, after 30 weeks success rate goes down.
Wear comfortable clothing and try to drink 16-20 ounces an hour before your appointment.
We can accommodate a large group, just be sure to defer seating in waiting rooms to our other patients.
There are many factors that prohibit “perfect” images or 4Ds to fail. Position of the baby, location of placenta, amount of amniotic fluid, and patient’s excess weight are all factors that go into the outcome of a 4D.
At MacArthur OB/GYN, myself and the rest of the Sonographers are excited to be a part of your pregnancy experience. We understand all ultrasounds are an important part of your care. Choosing to do a 4D sonogram is an exciting time for you, your family and friends. It is our guarantee that we will try to make this time memorable and a keepsake for a lifetime. Please understand it is our goal to make all 4Ds successful and meet the expectations you desire. If you are planning a 4D, we look forward to seeing you and your family and don’t hesitate to ask us to join in the debate, our experience allows us to have a unique advantage.
Many people think the only person that can provide medical care in a doctor’s office is their doctor. This is a common misconception, as nowadays, there are many different healthcare providers that work together to provide you better care. In our office, we employ physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and certified nurse midwives in addition to our doctors and medical assistants. It is the combination of all of these different providers that makes our office run smoothly. Some of you may have already seen one of these allied health professionals and may wonder why you are not seeing your doctor. Allied Health Professionals help to fill in the gaps when physicians cannot be in the office. As an OB/GYN, you can imagine this happens rather often. When doctors leave for deliveries or surgeries, the physician assistants and nurse practitioners help to see their patients so they are not forced to reschedule or wait for several hours to see their doctor. Midwives perform deliveries at the hospital so that the doctor can spend more time at the office seeing their patients. They also have more flexibility with their schedules, often times having same-day appointments available when your physician’s schedule is booked out several weeks in advance. Together, we work cohesively as a team to better your overall experience at MacArthur OB/GYN.
Some of you might be wondering, what are the qualifications of Allied Health Professionals? All Allied Health Professionals complete rigorous training and education through a certified program. All are able to complete physical exams, prescribe medications, make diagnoses and order lab testing, amongst other things. Here is a chart outlining some of the differences between the 3 types of AHP’s in our office.
Physician Assistant
A PA is a nationally certified and state-licensed medical professional. PA’s practice medicine on healthcare teams with physicians and other providers. They practice and prescribe medication in all 50 states.
Master’s Degree
6 – 7 years
Broad, educated in all medical fields; may choose to do a residency in one field, but not required
Nurse Practitioner
As clinicians that blend clinical expertise in diagnosing and treating health conditions with an added emphasis on disease prevention and health management, NPs bring a comprehensive perspective to health care.
Master’s Degree or Doctorate Degree depending on program
6 – 8 years
Typically specialized to one field, i.e. women’s health
Certified Nurse Midwife
CNMs are licensed, independent health care providers with prescriptive authority in all 50 states. CNMs are defined as primary care providers under federal law.
Master’s Degree or Doctorate Degree depending on program
6 – 8 years
Specialized to women’s health; perform deliveries and assist with cesarean sections
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